August 10, 1997

tristan, tristan
he went to dan
because he wanted to earn some money
tris took a chance
took off his pants
and said "name your price, honey"

but for the ----
tris' got one buck
and that wouldn't last to the first
he needed much more
thus became james whore
but couldn't handle that thick wurst

so he just chose
to change his clothes
and to try his fortune in town
diligently he worked
and many he jerked
he sure made money in that gown

he saves and he saves
the road to riches he paves
and by loaning him green
we should have seen
that were digging our own graves

do you want to see a show
or to the beach we could go
and wouldn't it be neat
to get something to eat
of course i'll need to borrow some dough

wolfe met a beautiful young lass
wouldn't let the chance pass
so he asked her out
but there's no doubt
that he charged her five bucks for gas

wolfe sure loves to invest
at this he's one of the best
but it's not very funny
that much is my money
i wonder how much i've made in interest

it's quite a roadster
rides like a rollercoaster
this is the van
driven by tristan
but it resembles a giant toaster

tristan wolfe used to live next door
but little tristy he is no more
he wanted to get laid
so a prostitute he paid
and he caught aids from the whore

tristy's home
is in the kitchen
and that is where
he does his hitchin'

to make good cookies
ingredients do matter
and with a little work
he'll splatter some batter

to make good stuff
takes a little lovin'
and his cookie dough
he'll shove in your oven

and when it's all done
the fun isn't through
he'll lick from your spatula
all your tasty goo.

and tristan sure knows
that he is right
when he says baking
is quite a delight